Empire have the exclusive on the first trailer for Watchmen, the Zac Snyder-directed movie adaption of the brilliant graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. You can watch it here or on the no-doubt-soon-to-be-removed youtube version below.

(EDIT: the Empire online link has been removed for now. The article (here) clearly went up too soon, although AICN are linking to it too.

EDIT #2: Empire seem to have lost their exclusive. It’s up all over the net, and Apple trailers has the glorious HD version here.)

The film itself isn’t due out until March 2009, but to say it’s eagerly anticipated doesn’t even begin to describe the fans’ expectations.

Set in a parallel 1980’s set world, Watchmen tells the story of a group of costumed superheroes, who are now outlawed. They have to renew their association, though, when one of their own is murdered and the whole group appears to be targeted.

Snyder’s film version has cast Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhatten, Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach, Patrick Wilson as Niteowl, Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the Comedian, Matthew Goode as Ozymandias and Malin Akerman as Silk Spectre II.

The trailer is fab. The comic-to-film comparison is very impressive, without appearing too comic-y. For the special effects on Dr. Manhattan to be this good so early in the process bodes well. Although he does appear to have been given a pair of hide-his-modesty briefs at 1:38 - let’s hope that’s just the trailer! We’re still not quite buying into Matthew Goode as Ozymandias, but the others look the part (well, as much as you can tell at this stage with the masked Rorschach).

And a comment on the choice of song used: the Smashing Pumpkins’ The Beginning is the End is the Beginning. Not The End is the Beginning is the End, as used on Batman and Robin - nice cheeky touch! Hopefully it’s Snyder’s way of telling us that this won’t be shit.

In the year of summer blockbusters being dominated by comic book movies, the one that cast the biggest, darkest shadow was Nolan’s sequel to the rebooted Bat franchise. And as much as you may have found Iron Man surprisingly good, The Incredible Hulk surprisingly better or Hancock surprisingly original, nothing will prepare you for how just how surprising The Dark Knight is.

As is the general rule of thumb, with sequels must come darkness. Darkness was expected, but what is unexpected is just how dark this sequel gets. Getting right down to the nitty-gritty of psychoanalysis of psychotics and exploding it up on to an IMAX screen, for 150 minutes you will bear witness to a genuine cinematic genius at the top of his game making not a comic book movie, but a massive crime epic for the ages.

From the get go, everything has changed from Begins. Gotham City itself has been revamped; gone is the grimy asthetic and downtrodden slums, in comes a city made purely of skyscrapers, glass and steel. Gone to is the stranglehold that crime had over the city, with just a flash of the Batsignal enough to have petty criminals running indoors. Following a very quick cameo from The Scarecrow (Cillian Murphy) who seems to have been relegated to petty thug/drug dealer, we’re introduced to Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), Gotham’s new D.A. and known to many as the city’s white knight. He is dating Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal, replacing a not-missed-at-all Katie Holmes), who of course is holding a candle for Bruce Wayne/Batman (Christian Bale). But he is too busy helping Lt. Gordon (Gary Oldman), with the help of some nifty weapons by his developer Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman), to capture the new head of the mob family Salvatore Maroni (Eric Roberts), and then head home after a night of crime-fighting to his helpful/sarcastic butler Alfred (Michael Caine). As if all of this wasn’t enough, tossed into the mix is the live grenade known only as The Joker (Heath Ledger). Following the open bank heist that has been available online, and a superb taste of the intricacies of the plot, The Joker gets one of cinema’s greatest ever introductions, involving a pencil magic trick that will stick in your mind for days. Unlike Maroni and the other bad guys of Gotham who want nothing more than money and power, The Joker wants nothing more than to watch the city descend into chaos, believing it to be mankind’s natural (dis)order.

To say anything more about the labyrinthe storylines would deflect from the awe you’ll feel watching the clockwork plot tick off in front of you, but despite what you’ve read or seen in the trailers, nothing of extreme importance has been revealed in any trailer to date. One thing that you may have read is that Ledger’s performance is extraordinary, and while it is difficult to seperate it from his untimely death, everything you have read about him regarding this movie is absolutely true. He plays the character with so much magnetic surrealism that it is impossible to tear your eyes from him, even as he slicks the screen with a greasy menace not seen in any other villian, comic book movie or otherwise, in quite some time.

But this is no one trick pony; Bale is as charasmatic as ever, constantly at odds to do what is right and do what is normal, while all of the remaining of the supporting cast are at the top of their game. But special mention must go to Aaron Eckhart, even before the tragic events that result in him become Two-Face, he fills the screen with such potential hope that even though we all know the road he is eventually going to end up on, and as interested we all are in seeing his transformation, you will be half-hoping that the film makers will change their minds and let him be the normal hero.

The film-makers in question, the Nolan brothers sharing writing duties and one directing solo, have a history of taking psychologically interesting characters and placing them in pyschologically entrancing situations (think of Guy Pearce in Memento, Robin Williams in Insomnia, Hugh Jackman in The Prestige), and here, instead of letting it remain subtext, allow it to envelop everything in a murky haze of confusion. The Joker may be insane, but his brand of organised chaos takes a highly developed mind, and uses his ability to find a person’s darkest place and manipulating it to make sure they all play off each other. Its a highly intelligent route to take for such a blockbuster tentpole movie, but it in no way distracts or subtracts from the action scenes, including one involving an 18-wheel rig, a police escort and the Batpod that is most likely this summer’s best action sequence.  The film is all for spectacle, be it the big, some of which you’ll have seen in the trailers, or the small, like the tantalizing reveal of Two-Face, which represents another ground breaking turn in CGI/model work.

The film isn’t perfect; around the half way mark the plot makes a sharp U-turn that may infuriate some audience members, any toilet breaks will result in missing several important key scenes, and some of Lucius Fox’s new gadgets, such as the “sonar phone”, go beyond ultra-modern technology into impossibly-sci fi. But these are minor niggles against a film that has set a bar for itself and any sequels just so god damn high. The ending is just as much a cliffhanger-ish ending as the original, but with Nolan having already stated that he isn’t as interested in coming back for a third slice, if this is the last of his entries into the Bat-cannon, then he has ended it not only on the best comic-book movie of the year, but possibly ever, not to mention possibly his own best film yet, or the fact that it may very well be the best film of 2008.

Nine Out Of Ten

The first trailer for the John Moore-directed Max Payne has been revealed to the interweb:

For some reason, this seems better the second or third time you watch it. As trailers go, it’s nicely paced and edited, with some good shots on view without (seeminly) giving too much away. It helps that it has Marilyn Manson’s “If I Was Your Vampire” as the soundtrack. Hard to say at this early stage if Wahlberg &co will do justice to the video game source, but we’re not giving up hope. Yet.

Next up is the redband trailer from Choke, based on Chuck Palahniuk’s novel:

Still using the great Clap Your Hands Say Yeah song, “Satan Said Dance”, (anyone else noticing a trend in trailer songs being used….?), this trailer has more new footage, more new laughs, more naughtiness and, more importantly for some of you, more boobs! This film is shaping up nice and the early good word from the likes of Sundance and SXSW bode well.

And if you haven’t joined the Fox Searchlight facebook page yet, go do so now! Just the other week, they sent members a link to four potential TV spots for Choke, and we got to vote on the best one. So even if the one you vote for didn’t get picked, you still get to see all the clips. And wait! There’s more! The official movie page, www.chokeonthis.net, has some extra clips, such as passages from the book being read by exotic dancers. Need to get past the US age restrictions? Then pass yourself off as a wealthy writer-producer (Name: Larry David, DOB: 2 July 1947, Zip Code: 90210).

And on a different note, we have Elegy:

No soundtrack songs involving Satan or vampires, but we still have the potential ick-factor of Penelope Cruz sleeping with Sir Ben Kingsley. Yep, you read that right. This is adapted from Philip Roth’s novella The Dying Animal and directed by Isabel Coixet, and concerns a college professor (Kingsley) having an affair with one of his mature students (Cruz). Dennis Hopper and the ever-excellent Patricia Clarkson and Peter Sarsgaard round out the supporting cast.

Correct Opinion: bringing a little something for all the family.

It still doesn’t have a director, or even a person playing the lead character yet, but that hasn’t stopped producers from, eh, producing this poster for the upcoming reboot of Conan. No word yet on whether or not he’ll be a Barbarian, a Destroyer, a King, or if it’ll be something akin to Conan Begins. Does anyone really care to see the backstory of a….. what is Conan? He’s not quite a Viking, is he? Get back to me on this.

Anyways, the script has been written by Thomas Dean Donnelly, creator of such classics as Sahara and A Sound Of Thunder. But seemingly Hollywood found these two movies to be so fantastic that not only did he get the opportunity to write Conan, but according to IMDb, at least 5 other movies as well. All is well.

It seems that all anyone can talk about, whether or not they’ve seen the film seems incidental, is how great Heath Ledger’s performance is as The Joker in The Dark Knight and how it is definitely an Oscar worthy performance, with anything less than Best Supporting Oscar come next February will be nothing but a tragedy. While we have no doubts that Ledger’s performance is most likely incendiary, and he was nothing short of a brilliant actor, is it fair to ask whether or not he will recieve the Oscar based on his performance alone, or based on the fact that its something of a tragedy that it will be award post-humously?

As much as Oscar loves indie-to-mainstream cross over darlings, such as 2008’s split-votes There Will Be Blood and No Country For Old Men, nothing gets their blood pumping like a big expensive epic. Ben-Hur back in its day and Titanic more recently have shown that you can go overboard on the spectacle and still have your eyes set on more than just Best Visual Effects. And a recent trend-bend has shown Oscar to be more acceptable to genres other than ‘Drama’, with Best Actor nods going to Johnny Depp (Pirates Of The Caribbean) and Amy Adams (Enchanted), not to mention the shock that a fantasy film is now tied at the top with most Oscars won. With The Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King beating the likes of Lost In Translation, Seabiscuit and Mystic River, all of which up until that point would’ve been pure Oscar bait, it showed that the Academy was finally willing to open up to the possibility that any and all genres are “potential” winners. And while it’ll be a good while yet before we see anyone from a horror film reading out an acceptance speech, is it such a stretch to think that a “comic book movie” could be nominated for the big one on the big night?

Certainly all early word has it compared to The Godfather Part II and Heat, which is no bad thing, and on the back of the wave of Ledger’s performance, not to mention the “hush hush could it be even better?” performance from Aaron Eckhart, Nolan’s constantly improving directing abilities, as well as writing abilities with his brother. Bale, too, could be in with mention, as he is without doubt one of the greatest younger generation actors working today. It will be one of the two best films released this summer, and since WALL-E can’t possibly win since the Academy decided that Animated movies have their own catagorey, its not such a stretch to imagine it being shortlisted, is it?

Well, that depends. Even though they haven’t been released yet, so their quality can’t be entirely commented upon, but come award seasons, there will be a splurg of Oscar Baiting movies, like The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button, The Reader, The Changeling, Australia, Revolutionary Road, Che, Milk, Miracle At St. Anna, The Hurt Locker…… and thats just for starters, off the top of my head.

So, Batman, you’ve got your work for you, but lets try and put a smile on that face, Oscar.

I get the feeling that somewhere in the midst of all the pre-publicity hype regarding just how much The Dark Knight is going to be The Godfather Part 2 or The Empire Strikes Back of our time, and how it just might be the greatest film of 2008, and by the way, when was the last time a summer blockbuster could possibly make that statement? For the life of me, I can’t think of one good example, and yes, I know, the second I post this entry I’m going to think of hundreds of them, but still, I’m making a point here. This summer has got one the biggest runs of Hits-To-Flops in recent memory, but between the greatness that was WALL-E and the potential greatness of this, so far, 2008 has been good to us. But, anyway, I’ve found myself on a tangent. Where was I? Oh yes….. Wasn’t Heath Ledger supposed to be playing The Joker?

The more I look at this magazine cover, the more I’m certain that its going to haunt my dreams later. That smile has been scorched on to the back of my eye lids for who knows how long. Unless Tatler are making some kind of weird ass joke about making “Batman’s Babe” look like one of The Jokers’ Henchwomen, and I don’t think they are, then can someone explain to me why she looks like she used some of Jack Nicholson’s nefarious “Smiley” product from the original Batman?

Seriously, her face is freakin’ me out.

Winner of, among many others, Tijuana’s Shrieking Donkey Award and Honourable Mention at the Everyone’s A Winner Film Festival, comes the heartrending and insightful documentary behind the making of Tropic Thunder, rather fantastically titled Rain Of Madness. See, cos Rain means that it was raining alot, but it also sounds like the word Reign, which would indicate that madness was in control.

Thank God for comedic genuises like these people, otherwise I wouldn’t know whats funny and what isn’t. For example, I wouldn’t have thought that title was funny. I would’ve thought it was lazy, stupid and, well, lazy. But they think its funny, and they get paid millions and millions of dollars a year to be funny, like Eddie Murphy and Mike Myers, and they all seem pretty on the ball right now.

Chris Nolan too cerebral for you? Thought Batman Begins had too much talky-talk and not enough exploding shit?

Well, we can certainly dream! spill.com got themselves the “exclusive” here.

It’s almost too easy to take the piss out of the various clichéd tics in Michael Bay’s oevre (is the word “oevre” a bit much when describing a CV that includes The Island and Pearl Harbour?!) but there’s no denying the giggles that this offers. While clearly a joke, I’m pretty sure Bay has considered stage directions such as this before:

All it’s missing is a scene involving a 360 degree shot of a helicopter at sunset.

Now let’s go hack the internet!

(and be thankful that there isn’t a Brett Ratner version out there….)

In what seemed to be some kind of retaliation to the criticism to his one commercial idealised movie, which was the mismaligned Planet Of The Apes remake back in 2001, Tim Burton has been going through something of a personal revolution. Dealing with recent father issues with the fantastic Big Fish in 2003, then proving that he actually can make a box office hit out of a remake with Charlie And The Chocolate Factory in 2005. He followed that up with personal pet project and critical darling The Corpse Bride, also in 2005, and then his most recent entry, and again, another remake, another warm critical reception, and the best box office that a violent musical could expect, in the form of Sweeney Todd.

So whats up next? Well, everyone and there Burton fan’s dog knows that his doing another feature length animation in the form of Frankenweenie, an elongated version of his 1984 award winning short. But after that, he has a much more interesting project in the works. Dark Shadows, a film adaptation of the t.v. show which aired over 1,000 episodes between 1966 and 1971, it tells the story of vampire Barnabas Collins, and his daily run ins with the mythical, but very real creatures here on earth such as werewolves, ghosts and other horrific monsters. Burton’s vision is set to star his alter ego Johnny Deep as Collins, and the script is being worked up by Burton regular John August. It’ll also mark Burton’s return to the pure horror genre (Todd doesn’t really count) since Sleepy Hollow in 1999.

If you’re thinking the same thing we are, that it all sounds vaguely Van Helsing, then worry not. Burton seems to have re-discovered his A-game, even if it is based in B-movies.

INT. SKYSCRAPER. SOME U.S. CITY.

THAT GUY FROM THE DEPARTED: Don’t worry, lady who looks scared, I’m just here to jump through this window and kill the five assassins on the building hundreds of feet away.

OFFICE LADY: Yeah, whatevahs.

THAT GUY FROM THE DEPARTED: *jumps through the window and kills the five assassins on the building hundreds of feet away, gets a phone call*

SOME RUSSIAN GUY: Are you standing on the big X?

THAT GUY FROM THE DEPARTED: Yeah, why?

SOME RUSSIAN GUY: Oh, no reason. But just don’t move from that X for the next few seconds.

THAT GUY FROM THE DEPARTED: Okay. *hears a gun shot from miles away, doesn’t move, just looks around a bit, finally gets shot in the head by a cool looking by impractical bullet that the russian guy shot around a corner from about 10 miles away*

AUDIENCE: Oh dear lord, what have we done?

CUT TO: OFFICE DRONE LAND.

JAMES MACAVOY: Choose life…… Choose beer and choose other things…..

AUDIENCE: Wrong Scot, wrong monologue about pissing your life away, just wrong.

JAMES MACAVOY’S BEST FRIEND: *is totally nailing James MacAvoy’s moany ass girlfriend, just in case we weren’t sure just how bad his life is*

JAMES MACAVOY: I get panic attacks whenever my fat and very fat boss starts stapling mid-air around my head.

JAMES MACAVOY’S BEST FRIEND: I get panic attacks when I drop my wallet in your apartment while I’m doing your girlfriend and the camera closes up on this as if its going to be important, but then nothing comes of it.

CUT TO: DEPARTMENT STORE.

ANGELINA JOLIE: Hi, wanna be an assassin like me and that assassin pointing a gun at the back of your head? *exploderizes the entire shop*

JAMES MACAVOY: Actually, I’m just gonna pull some ugly slo-mo faces for the next fifteen minutes if thats okay with you.

ANGELINA JOLIE: No, its not.

AUDIENCE: No, its really not. Your face is butt ugly in slo mo.

CUT TO: A WOOL FACTORY.

MORGAN FREEMAN: I own this wool factory. Because wool can tell the future. But only in so far as to who should be killed and who shouldn’t be.

JAMES MACAVOY: Are you gonna try to explain that any further?

MORGAN FREEMAN: No.

JAMES MACAVOY: I really think you should, because this entire yarn, ahem, is based on you telling me that you get your orders from a cotton jin.

MORGAN FREEMAN: We don’t have time to explain things any better. We have to get you beaten up for the next 25 minutes.

JAMES MACAVOY: Huh? *gets beaten up by the beat ‘em up guy, stabbed by the stab ‘em up guy and shot by the shoot ‘em up guy*

ANGELINA JOLIE: Does that hurt?

JAMES MACAVOY’S INTESTINES: *are hanging out*

ANGELINA JOLIE: Take a nice hot bath in this bath of hot water with what looks like candle wax on top. We’ve decided not to tell the world that candle wax water cures everything, including decapitation.

CUT TO: ON TOP OF A TRAIN.

ANGELINA JOLIE: Duck!

JAMES MACAVOY: Huh? *clonks himself out on a bridge*

CUT TO: THE ANCIENT ROOM OF PLOT DEVELOPMENTS

MORGAN FREEMAN: So, the guy that killed your father, we think you’re ready to kill him.

JAMES MACAVOY: You think I’m ready to kill him? I’ve only been training for a few weeks. I’ve only just learned how to rip off The Matrix bend bullets around non-moving cattle carcasses. You’ve got people here trained since birth. Wouldn’t they be better suited for this?

MORGAN FREEMAN: No. No go meet Terence Stamp while I do some busy work.

CUT TO: WHAT LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE RUSSIA.

TERENCE STAMP: Hi. See me in the sequel!

CUT TO: A TRAIN.

ANGELINA JOLIE: I’m pretty sure I could get on this by foot, but this is more fun. *drives her car into the train*

JAMES MACAVOY: Daddy Killer! I kill you now!

DADDY KILLER: No, I’m not Daddy Killer! I’m your Daddy!

JAMES MACAVOY: Huh?! *train falls off a bridge, everyone on board should die, but thankfully only everyone except James MacAvoy and Angelina Jolie die*

AUDIENCE: Who’s the Daddy Killer now, Daddy Killer?

JAMES MACAVOY: *confused woe*

CUT TO: A WOOL FACTORY.

JAMES MACAVOY: Take this! *releases thousands of rats into the wool factory, most of which are connected to bombs, which should kill everyone in the building, but thankfully only kills everyone in the building except for the people who had lines already*

JAMES MACAVOY: And take this! *James beats up the beat ‘em up guy, stabs the stab ‘em up guy, shoots the shoot ‘em up guy*

CUT TO: THE ANCIENT ROOM OF FINAL SHOWDOWNS.

MORGAN FREEMAN: Everyone get in a big circle! And then kill this motherfucker!

AUDIENCE: Oh, that was awkward to hear coming out of your mouth!

ANGELINA JOLIE: I hate profanity! *kills everyone in the room with bullet, including herself, except James MacAvoy and Morgan Freeman*

CUT TO: OFFICE DRONE LAND.

MORGAN FREEMAN: I found you, James MacAvoy, with your oddly changed back of the head haircut.

JAMES MACAVOY STAND IN: Hi.

MORGAN FREEMAN: What the -? *phone rings* Hello?

JAMES MACAVOY: Are you standing on the big X?

MORGAN FREEMAN: Yeah, why?

JAMES MACAVOY: Oh, no reason. *shoots a bullet from the other hemisphere, managing to just barely miss every other (still living) major character in the movie before burrowing into the back of Morgan Freeman’s head*

JAMES MACAVOY STAND IN: My shirt! Its ruined!

JAMES MACAVOY: What the fuck have you done lately?

AUDIENCE: Just spent good time and money on YOU and this piece of SHIT! GET HIM!

THE END.