Would You Kill To Be Handsome Like Jim Sturgess?

So, you’re ugly. That’s too bad. But you don’t want to be ugly no more. So what do you do? Hit the gym and hope that a killer six pack will distract the ladies from your heinous face? Work hard and save up for plastic surgery? Or work hard and save up and hope that a killer bank account will distract the ladies from your heinous face? Well, if you’re Jim Sturgess (pre-looking like Jim Sturgess), the most obvious choice is to make a deal with the devil to become handsome like Jim Sturgess. The only snag is that you have to become a serial killer of bad people in return.

Thats the basic plot to Heartless right there. And while the poster is kinda nifty and the handsome Sturgess has done some great work in Across The Universe and some good work in 21, and the fact that it has an okay line up with the likes of Clemence Poesy, Noel Clarke, Timothy Spall and Eddie Marsan, there’s still not alot to get excited about. Its directed by Philip Ridley (who?), who’s been all quiet on the cinematic front since his 1995 film The Passion Of The Darkly Moon (what?), and then there’s the fact that the plot sounds like a cross between comedy t.v. show Reaper and comedy films She’s All That and every other teen comedy flick that has a barely less than utterly attractive person who’s given a makeover (which usually involves them getting contact lenses and washing their hair) and then BAM! all of a sudden you’re a hottie. But taking all these comedic elements, and playing them up in a horror movie?

Meh.

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3 responses to “Would You Kill To Be Handsome Like Jim Sturgess?

  1. Apart from the fact you got the title wrong, didn’t either Passion of Darkly Noon or Reflecting Skin win awards, back in the day? Ridley’s most famous film credit would probably be The Krays, in any case, and his career in theatre since the 1990s has been strong enough to earn more than a ‘who’ and a ‘meh’, if you care to do a little research.

  2. If Sturgess is in it, I will go see it. Even Johnny Depp had forgettable films(what?)
    You DO remember him in the Nightmare on Elm St? And as long as Sturgess is THE STAR. I’m watching. Just like I did for Depp after Edward Scissorhands. Such a variety of roles! i love it.
    well not to me.

  3. But this is just Reaper: The Film. Why bother!

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