Category Archives: Posters

“DeathRace” Poster

If you put three fingers up in front of your face to cover Jason’s right eye (your left) and look at his expression, he looks mad. Mad as hell. Mad as he looks in every other Jason Statham Is Mad And He’s Not Gonna Take It Anymore movie. But if you move your fingers (or your head) to cover Jason’s left eye (your right) and look at this expression, he just looks kinda…… sad. Kinda depressed. Like he doesn’t entirely understand why Pixar hasn’t called him up yet to voice a teddy bear that comes to life during full moons to save the environment.

Its because they’ve seen Crank, in case you’re still wondering Jase.

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“Saw V” Teaser Poster

There’s been one a year of this since the first one released 5 Halloweens ago, and this one is set to be released on October 24th this year, just in time for you know what. Seriously though, poor Tobin Bell. How many times has he died in these films, yet they still find ways to keep bringing him back. Take that, Sigourney Weaver, and your cloning!

Stand Still For This…..

Very reminiscent of War Of The Worlds remake in its vague epic-ness, but with no Spielberg behind the big wheel, and appearantly no big robot making an appearance in front of the cameras, either. File under ‘Potential to go either way, but will probably still be Balls.’

“51% Motherfucker! 49% Son Of A Bitch!”

Even though he inflicted House Of 1,000 Corpses, The Devils Rejects and the recent remake of Halloween, you can’t begrudge director Rob Zombie’s aim at nothing higher than the bottom shelf. He put this poster up on his MySpace page earlier this week in the hope to attract producers to finance this self-penned script, which is yet to be cast, although Danny Trejo is rumoured to be playing that guy in the middle. Which explains why he looks like him. But someone should tell Zombie that he’s a bit late for the Grindhouse revival, and at least faux-revival, since it was something that genuinely talented folks like Tarantino and Rodriguez couldn’t resuscitate.

“Transsiberian” Trailer & Poster

From the director of the good but still over-rated The Machinist comes this movie which nobody will go see cos they’ll be too ashamed to admit that they can’t pronounce the title.

Starring Woody Harrelson and Emily Mortimer as a couple travelling on the namesake train who make friends with vaguely offputting couple Kate Mara and Eduardo Noriega, not to mention Sir Ben Kingsley strangling a Ukrainian accent. Then things begin to go awry.

Appearantly this was quite popular at last year’s Sundance, so it could be good. On the other hand, it could be good in the same way that The Machinist was “good,” so who knows.

“Burn After Reading” Poster Does Saul Bass Proud!

Not one mention of “Oscar Winners” or “From the people who brought you No Country For Old Men” or topless pictures of Clooney or Pitt or Swinton (gross!). Way to go, film publicity managers! Way to upsell!

New Silken Floss One Sheet For “The Spirit”

The rather outrageously beautiful Scarlett has imbued a primal sexuality into pretty much every role she’s ever had, even the boring one’s like The Girl With The Pearl Earring and The Other Boleyn Girl, but now we have her pushing her own envelope with a lesbian sex scene with Penelope Cruz in Woody Allen’s new one Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and now this poster for Frank Miller’s first singular directorial effort, and a tagline that should bring most men to their, well, knees.

This film could, and most probably, will end up to be a big steaming pile of poop, but will still make more money that most other films this year due to the massive hot female quotent involved. Who needs a marketing manager when you’ve got a cast as attractive as this?