When was the last time Mister Carrey was funny? And we mean really funny? Horton Hears A Who doesn’t really count, so whats before that. Fun With Dick And Jane? Not funny. The Number 23? Yes, funny, but inadvertedly so. Lets settle on “its been a while.” So much so that we look less and less forward to his funny ones as we do his more interesting, serious ones.
But at the very least, with this poster, it looks like he is having fun. And he’s got Zooey Deshanel to play with, and Terence Stamp, who seems to have replaced Sam Jackson as the man who needs to be in everything. And its being directed by the guy who made The Break Up (Yay!), Down With Love (Bah!) and Bring It On (Oh?), so there’s a luke warm chance it’ll be, ye know, watchable.
It still doesn’t have a director, or even a person playing the lead character yet, but that hasn’t stopped producers from, eh, producing this poster for the upcoming reboot of Conan. No word yet on whether or not he’ll be a Barbarian, a Destroyer, a King, or if it’ll be something akin to Conan Begins. Does anyone really care to see the backstory of a….. what is Conan? He’s not quite a Viking, is he? Get back to me on this.
Anyways, the script has been written by Thomas Dean Donnelly, creator of such classics as Sahara and A Sound Of Thunder. But seemingly Hollywood found these two movies to be so fantastic that not only did he get the opportunity to write Conan, but according to IMDb, at least 5 other movies as well. All is well.
Jennifer Carpenter: Yes, yes I’m aware that you probably only know me from The Exorcism Of Emily Rose, where I played Emily Rose who was consequently exorcised, and yes, I know that was a horror film, and yes, I know this is also a horror film, and yes, I’m aware that my surname is Carpenter, and yes, I’m aware that there is a really famous horror film director who’s surname is Carpenter, but its all a coincidence, okay? But I was also in Dexter, that really cool t.v. show? You haven’t heard of it? Oh well. But look at me now, all in your face on this poster for a remake of a really good Spanish horror film? You haven’t heard of it? Oh well. But the tagline is pretty cool. Well, yes, its pretty long, and kinda gives away my and everyone else in the films fate…… I just can’t get a break. And you wonder why I cry in the dark?
If you put three fingers up in front of your face to cover Jason’s right eye (your left) and look at his expression, he looks mad. Mad as hell. Mad as he looks in every other Jason Statham Is Mad And He’s Not Gonna Take It Anymore movie. But if you move your fingers (or your head) to cover Jason’s left eye (your right) and look at this expression, he just looks kinda…… sad. Kinda depressed. Like he doesn’t entirely understand why Pixar hasn’t called him up yet to voice a teddy bear that comes to life during full moons to save the environment.
Its because they’ve seen Crank, in case you’re still wondering Jase.
There’s been one a year of this since the first one released 5 Halloweens ago, and this one is set to be released on October 24th this year, just in time for you know what. Seriously though, poor Tobin Bell. How many times has he died in these films, yet they still find ways to keep bringing him back. Take that, Sigourney Weaver, and your cloning!
So, there you have it. Release date and everything. Rogen and Evan Samberg are writing the script (they also co-wrote Superbad and the upcoming Pineapple Express), and Stephen Chow (genius from Shaolin Soccer and Kung Fu Hustle) will be taking the role of Kato, originally played by Bruce Lee. But as of yet, the whole expensive thing is director-less. Which is something of a worry, surely?