Madonna’s “Candy Store”

This is set to be the second single from Madonna’s upcoming “Hard Candy” album, once “4 Minutes” gets to Number One all across the world (Editor: it won’t). This one is produced by The Neptunes honcho Pharrell, and is appearantly Madge’s favourite song from the album.

Same rules apply as all previous additions: If it gets taken down, its because Warner Bros have found it, and have taken it offline. So be quick!

Madonna’s ‘Hard Candy’; Outsourcing for Genius.

On the back of the massive popularity/backlash of Madonna’s new single ‘4 Minutes To Save The World,’ pop’s queen of re-invention has run into a brick wall of unoriginality.

Famed for finding producers to work on her albums before they were famous (and, therefore, making them famous), she used Stuart Price (aka Jacques Du Cont) on her ‘Confessions….’ album, who is now producing the new Killers album, as well as having William Orbit on her ‘Music’ album, who then went on to produce the top selling single of our generation, ‘Pure Shores’ with All Saints.

And this isn’t the first time Madonna has used and gone the way of R’n’B/Hip-Hop producers either. Dallas Austin gave her “Secret”, but also gave”Trick Me” to Kelis and “No Scrubs” to TLC, while Nellee Hooper produced “Bedside Story” for Madge, while giving “What You Waiting For?” to Gwen Stefani and “Under The Bridge” for All Saints.

But this new album does mark the first blatant attempt at Madonna creating for what’s hot now, instead of what will be hot soon. Out of the 13 confirmed tracks so far, uber-producer Timbaland is behind 5 of them, while Pharrell Williams’ producing duo The Neptunes are behind another 5. The remaining three consist of work from Akon (who you should know), Kanye West (ditto), Swizz Beatz (“Touch It,” for Busta Rhymes), and Sean Garrett (“Buttonz” for The Pussycat Dolls).

But the hiring of Timbaland and The Neptunes is the main issue here. Timbaland has been EVERYWHERE in the last 18 months, hiting something of a personal peak with “SexyBack” with Justin Timberlake, along with releasing his own album, instead of just creating hits for others. The Neptunes have been getting more into the hip-hop and heavy rock genres of late, but in their past created “I’m A Slave 4 U” for Britney, and “Milkshake” for Kelis.

The hiring of these two ‘sure-things’ would seem to indicate that Madonna has just realised that its been a while since she last had a number one hit in the U.S., especially when you consider that the first single from the album is sex-ridden duet with Justin Timberlake! ‘American Life’ knocked the wind out of her creative sails (and sales), and ‘Confessions On A Dancefloor’ showed that it is possible to create popular music without sounding like a flail for profits (even if the main single used an ABBA sample). A recent survey showed that 52% of MTV viewers thought this new album would prove to be Madonna’s most embarrassing, 19% thought it was going to be her greatest, while the remaining 29% of voters said they didn’t care, because they weren’t going to buy the album anyway.

So, that should probably tell you everything you need to know.

intyce sing

i’m aware of how very little sense that title makes right now, but give us a moment to clarify ourselves.

step one: listen to this…..

very good, isn’t it? yes. produced by timbaland, so naturally its very good.

step two: listen to this…..

very good, isn’t it? yes. produced by the neptunes. so naturally its very good.

step three: listen to this…..

very good, isn’t it? yes. its also produced by the neptunes. fantastic.

this singer, in case you haven’t noticed by now, is called Intyce. hence the (obviously hilarious to you now) title for this puff piece. this guy, who is singing songs Justin Timberlake should be singing if only Justin had testicles and not small balloons filled with helium in his scrotum, is still as of now still unsigned to a label. here is his myspace page, with another of his songs, ‘slur’, not available anywhere else online:

http://www.myspace.com/intyceyou

have you finally figured out why this very talented man, with some fantastic songs, is still unsigned? no? its because he’s ugly.

hawt nu choonz

ignore the plug for both PLAYSTATION 3 and the PLAYSTATION 3 game RATCHET AND CRANK (you’d swear we were being sponsored over here!), and just enjoy the song, instead:

“loose wires” by kenna

we especially like the first 20 seconds or so, when it feels like its the soundtrack to the sacrificing of a hot female virgin. but then it gets all poppy. but thats not necessarily a bad thing. especially in this case.

next up we have “surveillance” by wynter gordon….

as a very funny person we know pointed out, this ladies name does sound a bit like someone very posh trying to say “winter garden.” but aside from that, this song is the mathematical equivalent of what would happen if you add “the way i are” to “maneater” and multiplied your answer by “umbrella.” good things.

and finally, a song from The Greatest Film Of The Year.

“church” by t-pain.

besides the fact that its the best song to perform the moves that we’ll all be seeing plenty of come the release of Step Up 2, the real reason we love this song is because of what the guys say come the 2;30 mark (“hewhawhehethheehhah”) and especially for what the chick says come the 3;10 mark (“you stoopid.”) fantastic stuff.

and super duper Alice Cooper finally, following on from The Greatest Song Of 2008(?), is the next single from the newly reinvented popstar.

“boys” by ashlee simpson.

this song is produced by The Neptunes. The Neptunes are super-producers, much like Timbaland, who super-produced her last single (also featured on this site). The Neptunes super-produced a song called “Boys” for super-crazy Britney Spears. This version of “Boys” has Ashlee singing the words “gimme gimme” in the chorus, alot like “Gimme More” by Britney Spears. small world, eh?